The 2006 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S exists in a world of absurdity matched by few other icons of suburban American extravagance. It's a performance SUV. Some would appropriately use the words "luxury-performance SUV." And luxury-performance SUVs, friends, are absurd.
But absurd can be fun, and the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S is like a 520-horsepower, 5,653-pound, all-wheel-drive barrel of monkeys.
Even at our test car's $133,315 sticker pop, the Cayenne Turbo S is sure to find an audience. This super-truck will be the next must-have for soccer moms in swanky Laguna Beach and every other upper-crust village in Southern California's upper-crust Orange County.
Speed
As any OC soccer mom can attest, whipping up to your local Whole Foods Market in a Turbo S is like navigating an Abrams tank to a family spat. It will put the hurt on Uncle Albert's Suburban like Randy "Macho Man" Savage would dominate the Sunny Side Retirement Home ladies' wrestling squad.
Speaking of family spats, I had one on my hands shortly after I demonstrated to my wife the launch technique that earned the Cayenne its 5.2-second 0-60 time. Mashing the brake and throttle at the same time built enough anxiety in the Cayenne's boosted powertrain to snap the missus' sore back into contortions when unleashed.
Without the wife inside, the Cayenne will bust through the 1320 in 13.6 seconds at almost 104 mph. And lord knows anything that flirts with 3 tons and tops 100 mph in the quarter-mile is nothing if not ridiculous fun.
Cornering, too, is a Cayenne stronghold. Or maybe we should say "stranglehold" since this peppery SUV refuses to grip the tarmac with anything less than a rubbery noose. It twisted the tarmac under our skid pad to the tune of 0.85g and split the cones of our slalom at 65.2 mph.
For comparison, the 0.85g skid-pad performance equals the last BMW M Coupe we tested and the slalom speed is almost one full mile per hour faster than the Mustang Shelby GT-H. Of course being tall and monstrously heavy, the Porsche performs neither of these tasks with either the BMW's confidence or the Mustang's ease. But, should you be frightened by the Cayenne's cornering potential and need to stop quickly, Porsche has got you covered. Thanks to 15-inch front rotors clamped by six-piston calipers it stopped from 60 mph in 110 feet — only 2 feet longer than the Lamborghini Gallardo SE.
Driving
Decent sightlines front and rear, combined with a height- and damping-adjustable suspension, make piloting the Cayenne down the winding driveway to Junior's Prissy Pants prep school as easy as the trip to a Prada store. The suspension, though, is never truly comfortable as indicated by the softest shock absorber setting. And "Sport" mode hardly seems worth the compromise to your kidneys.
With six settings the suspension will take you on a tour of ride heights ranging from nearly carlike to tall enough that its fender gap would make Baja champion Ivan Stewart proud. In "Ironman" mode the Cayenne offers 10.8 inches of ground clearance and combined with Porsche Traction Management, which reprograms the electronically controlled center differential and employs a 2.7:1 gear reduction low-range, it threatens genuine off-road potential. Hydraulically detachable antiroll bars and a locking rear differential are available with the Advanced Off-Road Technology Package.
Wait a second. Adjustable ride height? Electronic center diff? These sound like expensive, high-tech off-road trickery that even the best off-roaders tend to avoid. Maybe, but using these bits of technology we were able to tackle speed bumps at Macy's like the Ironman charging through the Baja 1000's Ojos Negros. What more, with its tire pressure halved it's more capable in the sand than Jabba the Hutt's sail barge. Even if it can be done, we just don't see most off-road driving being terribly practical on its 20-inch, 40-series tires. Porsche's own window sticker warns against using these tires in the snow.
Weird but fast
Steering the Cayenne is one part physics lesson and two parts learning curve. It attempts — thanks mostly to its ability to generate sports-carlike grip — genuine feedback through the wheel. There's some tactile relationship between what goes on at the ground and what gets through to the driver, but the message takes long enough to decipher thanks to its height and weight that any attempt at hard driving is less than rewarding.
Power from the Cayenne's 4.5-liter twin-turbo V8 pours through one of six forward gears and then through all four tires. Shifting is accomplished automatically or manually using the Tiptronic S mode and steering-wheel-mounted buttons or by slapping the shifter into the manual gate and toggling it forward or backward. Default torque split is rear-biased at 62-percent rear/38-percent front and is automatically manipulated to suit conditions.
Given the Cayenne's abundance of available gears and plentiful torque, we were surprised by its reluctance to move out when asked. Whale the throttle in automatic mode and there's a distinct and disheartening pause before anything — and we mean anything at all — begins to change. Then, about the time you needed to be making a pass, the Cayenne hits you with all 530 pound-feet of torque and the road begins to evaporate faster than rational thinking at the Porsche dealer.
Living
Inside, the Cayenne's cabin is slathered in suede, which is a gorgeous addition to the Black Smooth leather, a no-charge option on our tester. Every interior surface has received attention and it shows in the glorious, if extravagant, details. The $3,090 carbon-fiber package and illuminated Cayenne logos in the door sills (another $910) are brilliant examples of the many ways to ratchet up the Cayenne's sticker price.
If opulence comes in button form then the Cayenne has plenty. Button count on the Cayenne's dash (not including several ventilation controls which hide under a closed panel or the eight buttons on the steering wheel) is 44. That's 44 buttons to control the audio system, navigation system and hands-free phone interface. There are also four knobs, two of which control seat heaters. Just turning the ventilation system off requires toggling both driver and passenger fan controls down until the fan speed is zero — an infuriatingly complex task which should be accomplished with one control.
Should you decide you need to haul anything long and heavy, the rear seats do fold flat, which adds some usability to the Cayenne's otherwise stately existence.
Reality
If your only reason to own the Cayenne is to embarrass Uncle Albert's Suburban at the family reunion, you'll have no problem. And short of using the Cayenne for what it does best — focus attention on you — it truly is capable of both sport and utility. Thing is, the dual capability comes at an inexcusable premium. At $26,100 more than a Mercedes-Benz ML63 AMG (base prices), the Porsche is a tough sell even given its off-road composure. And there's no escaping its enduring absurdity even when compared to equally absurd vehicles.
One editor's logbook entry said it best: "It's awfully nice, of course. But I still don't quite get why I'd want my fast, sharp-responding, firm-riding, premium German vehicle to be a tall SUV."
And so we're back to absurd.
The manufacturer provided Edmunds this vehicle for the purposes of evaluation.
But absurd can be fun, and the Porsche Cayenne Turbo S is like a 520-horsepower, 5,653-pound, all-wheel-drive barrel of monkeys.
Even at our test car's $133,315 sticker pop, the Cayenne Turbo S is sure to find an audience. This super-truck will be the next must-have for soccer moms in swanky Laguna Beach and every other upper-crust village in Southern California's upper-crust Orange County.
Speed
As any OC soccer mom can attest, whipping up to your local Whole Foods Market in a Turbo S is like navigating an Abrams tank to a family spat. It will put the hurt on Uncle Albert's Suburban like Randy "Macho Man" Savage would dominate the Sunny Side Retirement Home ladies' wrestling squad.
Speaking of family spats, I had one on my hands shortly after I demonstrated to my wife the launch technique that earned the Cayenne its 5.2-second 0-60 time. Mashing the brake and throttle at the same time built enough anxiety in the Cayenne's boosted powertrain to snap the missus' sore back into contortions when unleashed.
Without the wife inside, the Cayenne will bust through the 1320 in 13.6 seconds at almost 104 mph. And lord knows anything that flirts with 3 tons and tops 100 mph in the quarter-mile is nothing if not ridiculous fun.
Cornering, too, is a Cayenne stronghold. Or maybe we should say "stranglehold" since this peppery SUV refuses to grip the tarmac with anything less than a rubbery noose. It twisted the tarmac under our skid pad to the tune of 0.85g and split the cones of our slalom at 65.2 mph.
For comparison, the 0.85g skid-pad performance equals the last BMW M Coupe we tested and the slalom speed is almost one full mile per hour faster than the Mustang Shelby GT-H. Of course being tall and monstrously heavy, the Porsche performs neither of these tasks with either the BMW's confidence or the Mustang's ease. But, should you be frightened by the Cayenne's cornering potential and need to stop quickly, Porsche has got you covered. Thanks to 15-inch front rotors clamped by six-piston calipers it stopped from 60 mph in 110 feet — only 2 feet longer than the Lamborghini Gallardo SE.
Driving
Decent sightlines front and rear, combined with a height- and damping-adjustable suspension, make piloting the Cayenne down the winding driveway to Junior's Prissy Pants prep school as easy as the trip to a Prada store. The suspension, though, is never truly comfortable as indicated by the softest shock absorber setting. And "Sport" mode hardly seems worth the compromise to your kidneys.
With six settings the suspension will take you on a tour of ride heights ranging from nearly carlike to tall enough that its fender gap would make Baja champion Ivan Stewart proud. In "Ironman" mode the Cayenne offers 10.8 inches of ground clearance and combined with Porsche Traction Management, which reprograms the electronically controlled center differential and employs a 2.7:1 gear reduction low-range, it threatens genuine off-road potential. Hydraulically detachable antiroll bars and a locking rear differential are available with the Advanced Off-Road Technology Package.
Wait a second. Adjustable ride height? Electronic center diff? These sound like expensive, high-tech off-road trickery that even the best off-roaders tend to avoid. Maybe, but using these bits of technology we were able to tackle speed bumps at Macy's like the Ironman charging through the Baja 1000's Ojos Negros. What more, with its tire pressure halved it's more capable in the sand than Jabba the Hutt's sail barge. Even if it can be done, we just don't see most off-road driving being terribly practical on its 20-inch, 40-series tires. Porsche's own window sticker warns against using these tires in the snow.
Weird but fast
Steering the Cayenne is one part physics lesson and two parts learning curve. It attempts — thanks mostly to its ability to generate sports-carlike grip — genuine feedback through the wheel. There's some tactile relationship between what goes on at the ground and what gets through to the driver, but the message takes long enough to decipher thanks to its height and weight that any attempt at hard driving is less than rewarding.
Power from the Cayenne's 4.5-liter twin-turbo V8 pours through one of six forward gears and then through all four tires. Shifting is accomplished automatically or manually using the Tiptronic S mode and steering-wheel-mounted buttons or by slapping the shifter into the manual gate and toggling it forward or backward. Default torque split is rear-biased at 62-percent rear/38-percent front and is automatically manipulated to suit conditions.
Given the Cayenne's abundance of available gears and plentiful torque, we were surprised by its reluctance to move out when asked. Whale the throttle in automatic mode and there's a distinct and disheartening pause before anything — and we mean anything at all — begins to change. Then, about the time you needed to be making a pass, the Cayenne hits you with all 530 pound-feet of torque and the road begins to evaporate faster than rational thinking at the Porsche dealer.
Living
Inside, the Cayenne's cabin is slathered in suede, which is a gorgeous addition to the Black Smooth leather, a no-charge option on our tester. Every interior surface has received attention and it shows in the glorious, if extravagant, details. The $3,090 carbon-fiber package and illuminated Cayenne logos in the door sills (another $910) are brilliant examples of the many ways to ratchet up the Cayenne's sticker price.
If opulence comes in button form then the Cayenne has plenty. Button count on the Cayenne's dash (not including several ventilation controls which hide under a closed panel or the eight buttons on the steering wheel) is 44. That's 44 buttons to control the audio system, navigation system and hands-free phone interface. There are also four knobs, two of which control seat heaters. Just turning the ventilation system off requires toggling both driver and passenger fan controls down until the fan speed is zero — an infuriatingly complex task which should be accomplished with one control.
Should you decide you need to haul anything long and heavy, the rear seats do fold flat, which adds some usability to the Cayenne's otherwise stately existence.
Reality
If your only reason to own the Cayenne is to embarrass Uncle Albert's Suburban at the family reunion, you'll have no problem. And short of using the Cayenne for what it does best — focus attention on you — it truly is capable of both sport and utility. Thing is, the dual capability comes at an inexcusable premium. At $26,100 more than a Mercedes-Benz ML63 AMG (base prices), the Porsche is a tough sell even given its off-road composure. And there's no escaping its enduring absurdity even when compared to equally absurd vehicles.
One editor's logbook entry said it best: "It's awfully nice, of course. But I still don't quite get why I'd want my fast, sharp-responding, firm-riding, premium German vehicle to be a tall SUV."
And so we're back to absurd.
The manufacturer provided Edmunds this vehicle for the purposes of evaluation.
Add A Comment »