- A firm commitment to invade Canada and steal all their oil.
That's it, and I'm a one-issue voter. And since neither Barack Obama nor John McCain seems willing to adopt this intuitively correct, wholly reasonable and carefully measured policy — a simple step toward energy independence — I'm going to sit out this election.
So when you're watching our Canadian-controlled media report the election results tomorrow, think about what I've written here. But not too much.
Otherwise, let's start this week by wrecking a few hybrid Toyotas.
Crash Testing the Prius
I admit it. There's no car I enjoy seeing wrecked more than the Toyota Prius. When I see a Prius crunched up on the back of a flatbed, I feel as if the world is a slightly more just place. If I see a Prius flipped over on its lid, I feel as if the laws of physics are working in my favor. Look, I don't want anyone to get hurt — not even Prius owners or their passengers. But if cars are gonna get wrecked, let those cars be Priuses.
So these four videos are just sort of, well, soothing for me. They're all various crash tests of the Prius run by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety and other private and government agencies. All four of them are just plain pleasant. The only disappointing thing is that in none of them does the Prius throw off electricity as giant bolts of lightning.
I'm all for crash testing every Prius.
It's Wheelie Time in Byron Again
Two weekends ago, while the rest of the country was wrapped up in baseball's World Series and the seventh week of the NFL season, the hard-core racing world turned its attention to the tiny Byron Dragway in glamorous Byron, Illinois (home of the Byron Nuclear Generating Station and gateway to the Rock River Valley!) for the 14th Annual World Power Wheelstanding Championships. That's right, it was time once again to return to northeastern Illinois and watch a bunch of cars do wheelies.
Some of the entrants this year look mighty familiar from previous years. And that's just fine. The winner was Dan Smith of Afton, Missouri, who kept the wheels of his '72 Dodge Demon airborne for 450 feet to take home the $10,000 first prize. Apparently no one entered the contest with a Prius.
Twin-Turbo Corvette Z06 at 210 MPH
What's it like to go 210 mph in a twin-turbocharged Corvette Z06 at the Texas Mile? Apparently it's like what's depicted here in this video of a twin-turbocharged Corvette Z06 going 210 mph at the Texas Mile. That's a record, contends the video, for a Corvette.
Looks kind of violent in there to me.
LG Motorsports, the company behind the mayhem, is run by Lou Gigliotti. Gigliotti has been running in the Trans Am, World Challenge and, most recently, the American Le Mans Series GT2 division for decades. And mostly what he's run in those series is Corvettes. So they probably know how to handle a Corvette, which is critical. Because according to the LG Web site, the $30,995 twin-turbo packages it sells can boost output in a Corvette up to 1,200 horsepower. Subtlety, apparently, is not an option.
Bonanza and Bewitched for the 1965 Chevrolets
Back in the '60s, the new model-year cars came out in September just about the same time the three TV networks (there were only three then) started their new seasons. This was never coincidental, since the carmakers were (and still are) the biggest advertisers on network television. So moving metal was in everyone's best interest.
And the stars of the shows Chevrolet put its money behind during the fall of 1964 — top-rated Bonanza and newcomer The Man From U.N.C.L.E. on NBC, and Bewitched on ABC — were perfectly willing to help get the Chevy dealers hyped up to sell, sell, sell. So this promotional film was shot with those stars showing off the features and glories of the new 1965 Chevrolet models.
It's 44 years later, and there's not a car in that ad that I wouldn't want to own today.
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