Comparison Test: 2007 Jaguar XK Coupe vs. 2006 BMW 650i Coupe

Carrot Top and an Aussie beefcake troupe known as Thunder from Down Under pass for culture in the devil's den of Las Vegas. We skipped both. Passed on Penn and Teller, too, and although "wacky, avant-garde, percussion-driven entertainment from blue-hued performers" sounds freakishly tempting, we blew off the Blue Man Group.

Instead, we drove the 2007 Jaguar XK Coupe and 2006 BMW 650i Coupe from L.A. to Vegas to visit the Neon Museum, which doesn't really exist, but we're told it will. Plans call for an exhibit gallery, research library, store and café along with classrooms and banquet facilities. In the gallery will be refurbished neon signs, a classic Las Vegas art form, from the past seven decades.

Until funding for the above is donated through loopholes in the tax code, you can tour "The Boneyard," a couple of sizable dirt lots north of the Strip. The Louvre it ain't. Both lots are surrounded by 8 feet of chain-link, but beyond the fencing are more than 100 unrestored signs and bona fide Las Vegas culture, if there is such a thing.

Why drive two $80,000 luxury coupes 300 miles to a neon graveyard? Because it beats walking to one, that's why. Plus, the all-new 2007 Jaguar XK and the bigger-engined 2006 BMW 6 Series would look oddly out of place at some seedy massage parlor.

Too-cool coupes
Long hood, short deck, two doors and a fixed roof. It's a design as timelessly desirable as Steve McQueen and the banana split. Only sadomasochists and mothers of septuplets fantasize about additional room for the kids. Sure, there have been some epic sedans over the years, but the car of your dreams, the one you stay up nights lusting after, the one you secretly shop on eBay for while the wife's asleep, surely has two doors.

These two rear-wheel-drive coupes are certainly worth a few late-night lust sessions. The BMW 6 Series, with its acquired-taste style, has been around since 2004 as the 645Ci. For 2007, it's been given a shot of the same stuff that's made Barry Bonds such a home run machine. BMW has replaced the car's 325-horsepower, 4.4-liter V8 with a 360-hp, 4.8-liter V8 and changed its name to 650i Coupe. Although a six-speed manual is available, our Alpine White example had a six-speed automatic transmission. It also wore the Sport Package and a few other sundries that drove its sticker price up to $81,140.

The Bimmer's additional muscle is fortuitously timed, because of Jaguar's complete redesign of the XK. The 2007 version of the sexiest cat is sexier than ever and powered by a 300-hp 4.2-liter V8, also backed by a six-speed automatic. A few options, including the $8,125 Luxury Aluminum Package, took its as-tested price up to $86,460.

Aside from the 750-mile round-tripper from Santa Monica to The Boneyard and back, we lived with these two leather-lined two-doors for 10 days. They endured everything from heavy-metal romps through the Malibu mountains to hard-core slogs through some of the nation's worst traffic. We even made some of our friends ride in their ridiculously small backseats. Sure, we laughed as they shoehorned themselves back there, but automotive evaluation is a serious business and the risk to decade-long relationships was worth it. Oh, and we also took them (the cars, not our friends) to the test track, which was also fun, but not as funny.

Still the ultimate
After all that driving, laughing and testing, we crunched the numbers, asked ourselves which one we would spend our cabbage on, and chose a winner. Although we would like to say it was a tough call, it wasn't. The 2006 BMW 650i Coupe took this one by several car lengths.

It's not that the Jaguar is without appeal. This is a drop-dead gorgeous machine that performs well and offers high comfort. If its lines have you in a magnetic tractor beam, write the check. This car will make you happy.

No one would call the 650i drop-dead gorgeous, although its profile has caused a few passers-by to actually drop dead. The Alpine White paint didn't do our tester any favors either. But the BMW performs much better than the Jag, costs less than the Jag, is quieter than the Jag, has a much more usable backseat than the Jag and offers a significantly larger trunk than the Jag. It's also more comfortable, more refined and built with superior fit and finish.

In the end, it's that unique depth of engineering that gave the BMW the win. She may not be all that much to look at, but, boy, she sure can cook.